Samples: My Green Tea

No, it's not MY green tea. It's a sample from the Expo called "My Green Tea." (It's like "Leggo my Eggo!" and "Nut 'n Honey" commercials wrapped into one magic little name. To bad it's not a breakfast food aimed at obese suburban children.) Let me tell you up front: My Green Tea is fancy for a bagged tea. It comes in a hemishperically-sealed (I don't even know what that means) laminated foil pouch that has been filled with a shot of nitrogen to remove any active gases. That way it's extra fresh when you open it. The bag is decent-sized and made of polyester mesh and the tag is pH neutral and ulrasonically welded to a polyester thread. All that for one little bag of genmai-matcha. Wait, did I just say "genmai-matcha?" That's what the package says, but . . . that's not what I just drank. Genmai-matcha would be toasted rice with matcha (fine, powdered, shade-grown green tea). What I drank was toasted rice with broken-, dust-, and fanning-grade green tea (perhaps shade-grown, perhaps not). So . . . basically it's a cheap tea pretending to be a good tea and overcompensating for the fact that it ISN'T by having absurdly teched-out packaging.

I will give it this. It said, "enjoy our tea with your soul," and that made me laugh. A lot. Not only is it a mediocre tea at best, packaged in a way that is (dare I say) soulless, but you just said that it's MY mediocre, soulless tea and mow you're trying to say it's YOURS. Unh-unh, I don't think so! (OK, OK, you can have it back. I don't REALLY care that much.)

Yeah. That laugh was the best part about it. It came from My Soul. Er, I mean, my soul.